


When darkness comes, you know I'm never far

by tfm



Series: Post-Ep Fics [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/F, Light Angst, Pre-Relationship, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25628866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfm/pseuds/tfm
Summary: ‘I think you did the right thing.’Or, Beau and Yasha have a nighttime watch conversation.Post Episode 104.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Series: Post-Ep Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870387
Comments: 8
Kudos: 209





	When darkness comes, you know I'm never far

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Whispers in the Dark" by Skillet.
> 
> I have Opinions about what happened this episode.

When darkness comes, you know I'm never far

Even on the edge of the mountain, Beau could just about hear the sounds of the jungle. The outside of the dome, according to Caleb, was the same shade of brown as the igneous rock of the volcano, but Beau hadn’t exactly gone outside to check. As much as she preferred getting a nice vantage point while on watch, this was the sort of place where letting your guard down and splitting off from the rest of the group could have dire consequences.

It already had, twice now. First with Beau in the jungle, and then with Caduceus in the cave. Both times, it could have much worse than it had. Not that it hadn’t been pretty fucking bad. Every time Beau closed her eyes, she could see that horrifying gaze that had sucked the life from her. That was probably the main reason why she had decided to punch first, and ask questions later.

That wasn’t an experience that she was keen to repeat.

They decided to put up a watch in addition to the dome, and Beau was tense enough that she knew she wouldn’t sleep straight away, so she volunteered to take the first one. She was surprised (and okay, maybe a little chuffed) when Yasha agreed to join her.

Beau closed her eyes as she sat, leaning against the rock. Deep breaths, in and out, in and out. _Find your center._

‘Are you alright?’ Yasha’s voice broke through the haze, and Beau found, amazingly, that she was immediately feeling a little bit better.

‘Yeah.’ Beau smiled, and it felt like such an easy thing to do. ‘Just trying to clear my head.’

Yasha nodded. ‘It has...it has been a day.’

Beau’s lip twitched into something of a smirk. ‘Help, it’s again?’

‘Something like that.’ Yasha shifted so that she was sitting next to Beau against the rock. Beau was sorely tempted to sort of just lean into her. Things had been...weird was the wrong word, and maybe _that_ was the weird thing. Things had been so fucking _comfortable_ with Yasha these last few days, from being healed by her, to being held by her, to being picked up in a giant owl’s claws with her. It was nice, it was…it was safe. Of all the things that had happened on this stupid island, that was at least something to take away from it.

‘I think you did the right thing.’ Yasha’s voice was so soft that it took Beau until halfway through her sentence before she realized that something was being said, and another ten seconds or so for her to parse what she had missed. The result of which was she was just kind of staring at Yasha with her mouth agape, looking like an idiot.

‘I...what?’ Beau’s brain finally caught up with the rest of her.

‘At the tower. I think you did the right thing.’

_Oh._ Beau had sort of been on the defensive all afternoon, so for Yasha to straight up come out and say that she thought Beau had done the right thing...well, it meant a lot. Especially since the doubtful, self-loathing part of Beau’s mind had been telling her off for the mistake all evening.

‘Thanks,’ Beau said, and she meant it. ‘I guess after the last fucker we fought, I didn’t really want to go down again. I didn’t think...’

It hadn’t been until afterwards that she’d put it together that maybe the horrifying shadow creature that they’d just fought maybe had a beef with Vokodo. It certainly hadn’t on her mind when the creature was trying to rip her heart out, or when it had slashed a phantom sword right through her. Fair enough, she had maybe punched it a couple of times, but nobody else had exactly been rushing to stop her.

‘It was the right call,’ Yasha said, resolutely. ‘I would have done exactly the same thing.’ A pause. ‘And, for what it is worth, I did not want you to go down again either.’ Beau could have made a very crass joke at that point, but was so grateful for someone unequivocally taking her side that she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Having support meant the world to her. Having _Yasha’s_ support, somehow meant that much more. Part of it was because Yasha was certainly a person that didn’t give their loyalty lightly, but there were also reasons that were a little more...well, selfish in nature.

‘Well, good thing it didn’t.’ Beau grimaced lightly, and tried not to think about the new scar on her right arm from that phantom sword. ‘Could have ended pretty badly.’

‘Yes, I…was not a big fan of being possessed again.’ Shit. Beau had almost forgotten. It hadn’t been until after the battle that Beau had realized what had happened. Jester’s shoulder had been bleeding, and Yasha had very carefully been avoiding her gaze, and Beau was smart enough to put two and two together. ‘It was...good that we could put a stop to it quickly. Even if we had tried to discuss things, I don’t think I could have trusted them.’

There was no lie in Yasha’s voice, and it was easy to tell. Yasha had never exactly been the best at lying. She was forthright and honest, most of the time, and she wouldn’t have told Beau that she’d done the right thing if she didn’t believe it.

‘Yeah, we need to do something about that,’ Beau commented. ‘It...I mean, it must really, really suck to have your mind keep getting taken over.’ Shit. That had come out a little more blunt than she had wanted it to. In any case, Yasha gave a light chuckle.

‘You are not wrong,’ she said. Yasha was looking off into the distance, apparently thinking about something. ‘While we were in the cathedral,’ she continued, and that wasn’t where Beau had expected the conversation to go. She shouldn’t have been surprised; after all, that was the last time Yasha had been possessed, the last time she had hurt one of her friends. The scar on Beau’s abdomen tingled. ‘It was very hazy at the time, but did you…Obann tried to charm you, and it didn’t work?’

It felt like so godsdamned long ago, even though in reality, it had been just over a month. So much had happened in the intervening time; meeting with Isharnai and returning Veth to her true form, ending the war, Fjord being killed out on the open ocean…It might as well have been a year since Yasha had been returned to them.

‘I...yeah, I’d forgotten about that,’ Beau admitted. The ocean, which had once been something of a source of comfort, now held some mixed feelings for her.

‘Is that something that you could learn to do? Or teach someone to do?’ There was such a hopeful tone in Yasha’s voice that Beau hated to disappoint her. The truth was probably “not without years of practice,” but that was very clearly not the answer that Yasha was looking for.

‘I mean, it kinda came from all the meditation that I had to do at the Cobalt Soul.’ All the meditation that she had tried and failed at for so many years. ‘If you want, we can practice some time, maybe help get your defenses up a little.’ Whether or not that would work, Beau had no idea, but at the very least, it couldn’t hurt.

‘I would really like that.’ Yasha had a smile that seemed like it was more than just relief, but Beau couldn’t quite pin down the underlying emotion. She had thought she was good at reading Yasha (or that Yasha was easy to read), but this seemed a little more...Well, it seemed affectionate, which wasn’t an expression that was often directed at Beau. At least not that kind of affection.

They waited out the rest of their watch in relative, but comfortable silence. Beau was hyper-aware of the fact that Yasha’s hand was very close to her thigh. Whether it was a protective gesture, or an intimate one, Beau wasn’t sure, but she found that either possibility gave her a warm sort of feeling in her chest.

After they woke Veth and Caleb for second watch, and Beau got ready to go to bed, she was pleased to find that Yasha’s bedroll had mysteriously shifted a little closer to the right, so that it was almost touching Beau’s.

If then, in the middle of the night, Beau’s hand somehow managed to find Yasha’s, and squeeze it tight, well, then that was alright with her.


End file.
